Danny Davis
The holiday season is meant to be a fun and relaxing time of reflection and thanksgiving, but for many people, the end of the year brings on a different set of emotions. The holidays can be an incredibly depressing and challenging time for many folks.
If you struggle with managing holiday related depression, understanding more about why it’s happening and strategies you can use to alleviate it are crucial.
Why do some people experience depression around the holiday season?
There are many reasons why a person might experience holiday season depression. For example, it can happen because of….
1| Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
SAD is a seasonal bout of depression brought on by the end of year time change. During the holiday season, the days are shorter, the weather is colder, and the sunlight hours are sparse. If you work a standard day job, you may be inside at work all day without getting much natural sunlight at all. During these short, cold months, people can suffer greatly from SAD.
- A lack of personal connections or relationships for holiday bonding.
People who don’t live near their families, no longer have connections with their families, are friendless, are not in a romantic relationship, and/or are suffering from a significant loss may not have anyone with whom they can spend the holiday season. Since many holiday gatherings involve community and fellowship, it’s easy to feel depressed during this time of the year if you don’t have anyone with whom you can celebrate.
2| Past trauma related to the holiday season.
If you associate the holiday season with past trauma, it can be a depressing time of the year every time it arrives. For example, if you experienced the loss of a loved one around the holidays, it can be challenging to avoid depression whenever the holidays arrive again because it brings along those past feelings of sadness and loss.
3| The loss of a loved one before the holidays begin.
Experiencing your first holiday season without a loved one is extremely difficult. Whether it’s due to death, a shift in a relationship’s climate, or a break-up, going into your first holiday season without that person’s company can cause major depression.
What are some tips and tricks that help manage holiday related depression?
Managing depression around the holidays is difficult but possible. It may take time to feel the weight of depression begin to improve but implementing some strategies to support yourself during this tough time is a great way to manage those feelings.
4| Make realistic goals for your holiday season.
If your depression stems from your expectations of the holidays not coming to fruition exactly as you’d hoped, allow yourself to set more realistic goals. For example, learning how to let go of perfectionist qualities can help you have a great family dinner you actually got to enjoy and participate in rather than attending to every detail.
5| If you recently lost someone, allow yourself to talk about that person.
Avoiding conversation about a lost loved one can increase holiday depression. Allow yourself (and others in your family or group) an opportunity to talk about those who aren’t able to join the celebration this year and remember their memories.
6| Find ways to keep yourself busy and your mind occupied.
If you’re going to be alone during the holiday season, you can avoid feeling depressed by keeping yourself busy. For example, you can take up a new hobby to learn over the holidays or volunteer at a local homeless shelter or soup kitchen to stay busy and help others in your local community.
Dealing With Loneliness During The Holidays
Feeling lonely is challenging anytime it happens but experiencing loneliness during the holiday season can be especially difficult. When it seems like everyone else around you is busy visiting family, going to holiday parties, and exchanging gifts, it’s hard to realize that you’re in the throes of loneliness.
Being lonely is a challenge, but with some strategies, you can ease those difficult feelings and make them more manageable.
Strategy 1: Treat yourself well.
A great way to ease loneliness during the holidays is to treat yourself well. As the holiday season is often a time of special occasions, allow yourself to have one – even if you’ll be celebrating alone.
Treating yourself well during a special occasion could mean indulging in some favorite foods, taking long baths and showers, watching your favorite TV shows, or spending time mastering a hobby you enjoy. Keeping yourself occupied with these types of pampering and entertainment activities will ease loneliness while keeping your mind at ease.
Strategy 2: Realize that you aren’t alone in your current situation.
Loneliness is an incredibly isolating feeling – however, you aren’t alone in experiencing it! Millions of people deal with the challenges of loneliness every single day. While you may feel like you’re alone, it’s not really the case. There are many other people all around the world who understand exactly what you’re feeling and can relate to your challenges.
Sometimes, it’s helpful to connect with folks who understand, and in the age of the internet, it’s never been easier. You can find a variety of online chat forums and groups of other people also experiencing challenges with loneliness. During the holidays, this type of camaraderie can be refreshing and relieving.
Strategy 3: Reflect on what brings you feelings of gratitude.
Sometimes, loneliness doesn’t mean you’re completely isolated from everyone. For example, if you experienced a particularly rough break-up right before the holiday season started, you may feel extremely lonely because a major relationship in your life ended suddenly.
In these moments, it’s important to remind yourself of the relationships you still have to enjoy. For example, even though your romantic relationship ended, you may still have friends and family who care about you and can support you during this difficult time. During the holidays, these lonely feelings can feel intensified. Allow yourself to reach out for help if you need it rather than isolating yourself.
Strategy 4: Get familiar with your feelings and emotions.
Feelings and emotions are complex. When you’re feeling a big emotion like loneliness, you may be surprised to discover that you’re also feeling a wide range of other emotions as well!
Take some time to really examine the causes behind your emotions. This can be an uncomfortable practice (after all, handling those big emotions is a messy business), but getting that deeper understanding can help you determine what needs to be done to get yourself feeling better. For further assistance, consider reaching out to a therapist or mental health specialist.
Strategy 5: Find a way to give back to others.
During the holidays, the needs of others become magnified. Places like your local homeless shelter or food bank experience influxes of needs as the weather becomes colder. If you’re feeling lonely during the holiday season, consider volunteering at an organization that seeks to help others.
Not only will your volunteering get you out of the house and interacting with others, but you’ll be left with feeling a sense of accomplishment. Because of your volunteering work, you helped someone else get what they needed to feel a little safer and more secure.
How To Survive Difficult Holidays
As wonderful as the holiday season can be, they can also be difficult for many people. Tragedies and events such as loss, divorce, breakups, or family conflicts can add stress and drama that makes it hard to enjoy the holidays. However, these kinds of events don’t have to ruin your celebration. There are measures you can take to make the holidays more manageable in the face of challenging events so that you can have an enjoyable time.
Connect With Others: Rather than focusing on the heaviness of the tragedy, choosing to emphasize connection with others can help make things brighter and easier. When you focus on building connections and spending time with the people you love, it can ease the pain of loss or drama and help you tune into what matters most.
Let Go of the Past: Holding onto the hurt of the past can make the holidays especially difficult. When you’re stuck in the past you find yourself unable to enjoy the present, and thus you miss out on a lot of memories, fun, and connection with other people. When you can release what has happened and embrace the fact that it cannot be changed, you’re free to actually enjoy the here and now.
Talk to Someone: You don’t have to carry the hurt and heavy emotions by yourself. You can and should consider talking to someone so that you can release your feelings. When you are able to talk through how you feel, it can prevent a buildup of negative emotions that could cause devastation and ruin your ability to enjoy the holidays.
Care for Yourself: If you’ve experienced or are experiencing something tragic during the holidays, then it becomes even more important to take care of yourself. Putting a pause on life to pour into yourself by doing things that elevate your sense of well-being can be essential to maintaining mental health and helping you get through tough times.
Maintain a routine: Trauma and the holidays each come with their own ways of shaking things up and drastically changing life. Routines are a way of establishing patterns and norms that can ground you in the present and make life seem more stable and predictable. By restoring a sense of normality in your life you are better able to go with the flow and adapt to life’s changes.
Be prepared: Certain events like loss or family drama are bound to be triggered during the holiday season. Knowing this and preparing for emotional and difficult moments ahead of time can save you a lot of grief. When you know what will cause you to be triggered, then you can take steps or put measures in place to help you cope when those difficult moments arise.
Take a Break: It is alright if you need a break from celebrations and people occasionally. Forcing yourself to engage in a celebration or in moments with people when you’re really struggling at a given point in your life can cause further trauma and pain.
If you find that it would be more beneficial to you to pull back and remove yourself from the scenarios that contribute to emotional discomfort, then you should be empowered to do just that.
While navigating the holidays in the face of challenging life circumstances can be hard, it is not impossible. With some intentionality and effort, you can implement the tools that will help you make it through so that the holiday season can still be an enjoyable one for you. Considering how festive and wonderful the holidays can be, this is well worth the effort.
Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) 101
Seasonal affective disorder, also known as SAD, is a type of depression connected to changes in the season. SAD generally begins and ends around the same time each year, with most people experiencing an onset of symptoms in the fall and continuing into the winter months. It is possible though less common for SAD to be experienced in the spring or early summer months.
Symptoms of SAD generally start off mild and become more severe as the season progresses. General symptoms of seasonal affective disorder can include feelings of depression much of the day, loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed, lack of energy, sleeping difficulties, changes in appetite and weight, trouble concentrating, feelings of hopelessness, worthlessness, or guilt, being easily agitated, and frequent thoughts of death or suicide.
Symptoms more specific to fall and winter onset SAD include oversleeping, cravings for carbohydrates, weight gain, as well as tiredness and low energy. Symptoms more specific to spring and summer onset SAD include insomnia, poor appetite, weight loss and agitation or anxiety.
Major factors that come into play with regards to SAD include your biological clock, serotonin levels, and melatonin levels. Reduction in the levels of sunlight in the fall and winter months can disrupt the body’s internal clock, leading to feelings of depression. Reduced sunlight levels can also lead to a drop in the neurotransmitter serotonin which affects mood possibly triggering depression.
Melatonin levels can also be disrupted, affecting sleep patterns and mood. The decrease in sunlight also tends to decrease Vitamin D levels which can lead to negative changes in mood.
There are certain risk factors that can make a person more susceptible to seasonal affective disorder. One such factor is family history. Those with blood relatives who suffer from SAD or another major form of depression are more likely to deal with the condition.
Another risk factor includes having major depression or bipolar disorder. Living far from the equator can also increase your chances of dealing with SAD, as it seems to be more commonly experienced among people who live far north or south of the equator likely due to decreased sunlight during the winter and longer days during the summer months.
If left unaddressed, SAD can get worse and lead to more significant problems. Such issues can include social withdrawal, school and work problems, substance abuse, additional mental health disorders, eating disorders, and suicidal thoughts or behaviors.
In order to get a diagnosis of SAD a conversation should be held with your medical or mental health professional.
There are certain criteria that must be met in order to be diagnosed with SAD which include:
- Symptoms of major depression
- Depressive episodes occurring during specific seasons for at least 2 consecutive years
- Episodes that are more frequent than other depressive episodes a person may have had at other times of the year during their lifetime
If diagnosed with SAD, there are some forms of treatment that may be beneficial for you. Treatments include light therapy, antidepressants, Vitamin D, and psychotherapy. Such treatments can be used alone or in conjunction with one another. Because the onset of SAD is generally predictable, starting these treatments a few months or weeks before the onset of symptoms could prevent them altogether.
While seasonal affective disorder can be a disruptive and uncomfortable condition to deal with, you don’t have to suffer in silence. There are steps you can take to address SAD so that you are not so heavily impacted by the change in seasons. Talk to a healthcare professional sooner than later if you suspect you may have SAD so that you can get the help you need.
