Danny Davis
Step 1: Begin with Deep Belly Breathing
Find a comfortable position, sitting on a chair, the floor, or even laying prone. The most important aspect is ensuring your back is straight.
Close your eye and begin “Deep Belly Breathing”.
Note: If you are just starting with guided meditation you can practice deep belly breathing by doing the following.
- Lie down flat on the floor.
- Breathe in through your nose, keeping your breath slow and even paced.
- As you inhale make sure your belly fills and rises first, followed by your chest.
- Breathe out through your mouth, again keep your exhalation slow and even in pace.
- By practicing this lying down it ensures you cannot do it incorrectly.
Once you have practiced for a while and you feel comfortable, you may wish to practice the deep belly breathing sitting up.
It is entirely upto you if you perform the meditation sitting or lying down. Of most importance is that you keep your spine straight and your inhalations and exhalations use the deep belly breathing technique. You may now start your meditation.
You might like: Free Guided Meditation – Past Does Not Control Me
It’s time to start your meditation – Stop Self Defeating Behaviors
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Guided Meditation Script: Stop Self Defeating Behaviors
Welcome to the Stop Self Defeating Behavior meditation. Find a quiet place to find peace and move into a relaxed position. I want you to divert your awareness internally as you settle into your position. Tune everything else out and focus deep within yourself. We’re going to begin with a deep breath. Inhale relaxation and exhale stress and worry. With each inhale of your breath, you find relaxation. With each exhale of your breath, you release negativity.
Now focus on each number I say as we count down to one from ten. Allow yourself to relax and remain intensely focused on my voice guiding you.
Ten.
Nine.
Eight.
Seven.
Six.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
Now that you are fully relaxed, I want you to think about the self-defeating behaviors you have relied on, either now or in the past.
Identify each of these behaviors in your mind. Prepare yourself to notice things you weren’t previously aware of. You may be realizing that you mistreat yourself. Perhaps you deliberately engage in harmful behaviors. Are your relationships unfulfilling or abusive? Does procrastination get in the way of you achieving? Do you say yes when you want to say no?
Think about those behaviors you have indulged in.
(Pause)
Now that you have identified at least one or more of your self-defeating behaviors or the negative coping strategies you indulge in, I want you to consider the implications for a moment. What type of consequences have those behaviors had on you?
Consider how they contribute to your defeat.
(Pause)
How do they harm you?
(Pause)
Now, focus on the payoffs of those self-defeating behaviors because identifying those will help you understand the underlying need that is driving your behavior.
If you are guilty of mistreating yourself, it may be your way of avoiding risk to protect yourself from failure or disappointment.
If you say yes when you want to say no, you avoid confrontation or disappointing others.
(Pause)
Think about your underlying needs and what the benefits of your self-defeating behavior suggest about those needs.
(Pause)
Thus far, you have met your needs through unhealthy behavior. To change that while still meeting your needs you must adopt positive behaviors.
Repeat the following, aloud or to yourself, after me.
I will celebrate the positive steps I make and I will let my inner voice guide me.
I will respect my life as the miracle that it is.
What I once viewed as failure was simply a stepping stone to my success.
I value myself.
I will no longer sell myself short.
If I make a mistake, that’s okay, I deserve to move on from it.
I can tackle any challenge and overcome any obstacle.
My confidence grows with every positive step I take.
My gifts are endless and I can harness them in my favor.
Though I may have weaknesses, they do not have to impede my progress.
I will not compare myself to others, I will measure my success against my standards.
My life is my own and every decision that I make now and, in the future, will be to my benefit.
When I focus on my breathing and calm my spirit, I can hear the quiet call of my inner voice. I will allow it to guide me.
Now close your eyes and return your focus to your breathing.
With every inhalation, your lungs slowly expand, absorbing energy and calm. In this moment, you are separate from self-defeating behaviors. You are calm. You are relaxed.
When you feel the urge to use a self-defeating behavior it is simply a sign of unmet needs.
What is it that you need right now?
What needs are you attempting to fill with your self-defeating behaviors?
What needs are these rituals trying to top up?
If you feel upset, allow yourself to sit with those feelings for a moment or two. You will not feel like this forever. Your negative emotion will pass quickly if you sit with it rather than trying to fight it.
There is nothing wrong with negative emotions – they are a natural part of life. Remember, negative feelings aren’t forever. By expressing them you allow them to dissipate.
Rather than turning to self-defeating behaviors, you can use this relaxation technique to escape those feelings and fill those needs.
With each inhalation, you find relaxation.
With each exhalation, you release negativity.
Focus on your feet and notice the heaviness and warmth there, growing heavy with each breath you take.
Notice how your legs grow heavier as the weight climbs up into your torso causing your arms and hands to grow heavy and relaxed. That heaviness and relaxation winds its way throughout your body. You are completely relaxed and you feel so warm.
It feels so pleasant you easily sink into calmness, feeling at total peace.
Notice how you feel emotionally and physically right now. Notice how much calmer you feel after taking a moment to relax.
The more you practice the smaller the urge to engage in self-defeating behaviors will become.
You are stronger than your self-defeating behaviors. There is no need to indulge in these behaviors because you are now equipped with positive tools.
Now focus on each number I say as we count down to one from ten. Allow yourself to relax and remain intensely focused on my voice guiding you. When I reach one you may open your eyes and ease yourself back into your day.
Ten.
Nine.
Eight.
Seven.
Six.
Five.
Four.
Three.
Two.
One.
Have a blessed day and remember, when you feel in need of strength or guidance you can return to this meditation at any time. You have an alternative to self-defeating behaviors.
